: A Meditation on Our Fragile Relationship with Comfort & Ambiguity
Leadership Provocation
CORE CONCEPT PROVOCATION:
Two separate but related practices are essential to the future of Humanity: One, we should stop demanding certainty. And two, we should start building more tolerance for discomfort. Discomfort, in this context, does not mean extreme pain. It does not mean tolerating maladaptive behavior, abuse, or destructiveness. What it does mean is an ability to work outside of our preferences, and tolerate the discomfort of uncertainty, ambiguity, and lack of clarity. This requires engaging risk, and perhaps supremely, an ability to engage courage in the face of anxiety and be skilled in meeting the moment with a broader spectrum of intelligence.
Regarding certainty, we often grasp at certainty as a way to self-medicate for anxiety and discomfort. A sense of certainty makes us feel better, but certainty is best used as a temporary anchor, rather than a destination. And if we understand certainty as a frequent enemy of humility and discovery, we can learn to better embrace the unknown.
WHY IT MATTERS:
We already understand that there is no growth outside of discomfort. But what we forget is there is very little innovation, depth of intimacy, or mastery in problem-solving outside of discomfort as well. It becomes a massive advantage to become comfortable being uncomfortable, especially in an increasingly uncomfortable and uncertain world.
Comfort with ambiguity and also tolerance for discomfort are not just signs of maturity and strength, but marks of resiliency. Perhaps the Western demand for certainty is a sort of childish regression that gives us a sense of security or control rather than a healthy orientation around what we don’t know.
When there is a preference for certainty, there is a resulting operational bias that doesn’t often benefit us. This bias leaves us closed off, restricting perspective and access to new possibilities.
As much as we need systems, humans also need to break from the very systems we create and from the certainty the rules of our systems seem to provide. Uncertainty and discomfort serve as the pressure required to not only test and evolve our assumptions but to embody our values.
MEDITATION:
Consider the link between tolerance and comfort, and the link between comfort and certainty.
Consider how we use comfort and certainty to meet our need for security and agency.
END
How to best approach this content:
In the American cultural demand for immediacy and simplicity, the practice of taking time to think is often undervalued and skipped. Instead of approaching these pieces with solution-minded, prescriptive-driven, tips-and-tricks thought processes, I invite exploration, more significant inquiry, and space to be confronted with complexity and context. Read more on About page.